Ain't No Time For The Wicked Book III
by AshaGem
Summary: With news of Alistair on an early death bed, Cameron runs back to his side only to learn that a terror is being inflicted on the land which is more terrifying than blood mage's and darkspawn combined. She must open histories wounds and uncover secrets that should never need to be unleashed.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 **

The thoughts running through my mind were unpleasant as I held the thin piece of paper in my hand. It was hard to breathe as I began to fathom what the words on the paper were truly telling me. I never believed this day would truly come, never thought it would hit me so hard. And knowing that I could have prevented such an occasion, if I had just allowed myself to be selfish for just a moment.

Alistair was dying, the taint was ripping him apart and I couldn't stop it.

Riona came to me, tears streaming down her pink cheeks as she wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "This shouldn't be happening, at least not yet." Her words were meant to boost encouragement, to ensure that something could be done about this. And something nagged in my mind that someone, somewhere had the cure to save him.

The familiar smell of him coming back from the sparring ring, all sweat yet somehow alluring. I wanted to reach out, clasp the smell to me but most of all I wanted to smell him. Turning to Riona, I stared deep into her eyes and said the words I have desperately wanted to for nearly a year. "I'm going back to Ferelden."

She closed her eyes; already I knew what she's thinking and what she was going to say. "You know, we can't. We have a duty now, we can't abandon it." The sadness in her voice was clear, she wanted to go back too.

Taking a deep sigh, I say. "He needs me."

"Thedas needs you."

"They can wait, it's not like anything is happening soon. The best we can do is prepare them." I can't tear my eyes away from her.

Her eyes shined with a new light. "Good point. Ferelden is on the brink of falling, without their king, how can they prepare?" It didn't take me long to realise her point, all we needed to do now was convince Morrigan.

Jumping to my feet, I ran across the room, opened the armoire that held my leather armour, Jackals Longbow, and a bag with my belongings. I quickly changed into my armour and threw my garments into the bag. Turning to Riona, I saw that she wasted no time and was already dressed and eager to go. We didn't exchange words as we left the small bedroom we had rented and hurried down the corridor to Morrigan's room. With a clenched fist, I banged hard upon her door, instantly it was open and in the doorway stood, Letecia with a knowing look in her eyes. "Mother won't be happy."

"Is she ever?" Riona chimed.

Letecia smiled slightly but then it faltered. "She's already in a bad mood." She bit down on her bottom lip, pondering something.

"So what do you suggest?" I asked.

"It might not be possible." Her eyes glazed over as she spoke. In the past year I had learned that when her eyes glazed over that she wasn't entirely speaking to herself but some 'other'. The 'other' she would not talk about, this was the name she had given it. The terrified look on Morrigan's face when this had happened before was enough to confirm that this 'other' was not good. I exchanged a look with Riona who had recognized it and looked afraid. After a few moments, Letecia opened her eyes and I recalled the vision I had that led me to her. Letecia called it destiny, Morrigan called it bad luck, and I called it a new beginning. Riona on the other hand didn't see Letecia's eyes like I did; to her they were a deep golden colour. When I questioned Letecia about this, she said that only those with the vision would see her true form.

Beside me Riona began to get restless, her voice more angry than desperate now. "So? We're waiting."

Letecia grimaced before saying, "Go, but go now before Mother awakes. I can stall her for a while, but when she finds out she _will_ come after you." Without another word, we left. Riona was in front, as we ran for our horses. If we are lucky, within the next couple days, we could leave Orlais and sneak through to the Frostback Mountain's. Just as Morrigan would realised we were gone.

As we ran out the inn door, sunlight warmed my skin; I could smell the fresh air of Val Royeaux and hear the soft chime of birds in the trees. It was like the land was happy for me, to be finally able to be reunited with my love, and it filled me with hope. Within seconds I was on the horses back, my heels digging its legs, wind blowing my hair as we raced to Alistair.

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We rode by the coast, neither of us knew any shortcuts and we weren't tempted to try any if it would just delay our journey. We only encountered two security checks along our way; with my cold demeanour and Riona's witty tongue they hardly delayed us at all. Yet, it felt like weeks had gone by once we passed through the Ferelden border. If we kept to the same speed, and only stopped to rest when the horses were exhausted, we'd reach Denerim in less than a week. That was Riona's calculation anyhow.

We set up camp just off Gherlen's pass; in the cold night no wild animal would risk the low temperature and approach us. As Riona prepared a few rabbits that I had caught, I quickly set up a small overhead cover between two trees. We had been too eager to get to Alistair's bedside to even realise our own needs. But at least we had the sense to bring a lot of string and an axe. Two hours later, I had banded together a large cover made from thick tree wood and large leaves. It wasn't perfect considering that if the wind blew even a fraction harder than it was already it would fall to pieces; I had no doubt about that. By the time I was finished, the air was filled with the smell of cooked rabbit meat and Riona was laying it over a small cloth on the ground.

I sat down across from her. As I watched her as she tore the meat apart with her teeth and I wondered about what was going through her mind. Guilt, maybe? In the past she hadn't treated Alistair with much kindness. Or was it that now that he was dying that she finally realised she still loved him? Ever since Zevran she hadn't look at another man. At every inn we stayed, she wouldn't stay for an evening drink when other men were around.

"Do you still love Alistair?" I asked. I knew I shouldn't have but it was inevitable.

Riona didn't answer straight away; she just stopped chewing and stared at the ground. When her eyes finally looked into mine, she spoke. "I have always loved Alistair." She kept on looking at me and, before I could think of what to say, she added. "But he is better off without me."

"What are you saying?" I asked my voice only barely higher than a whisper.

"I'm saying that you love him more. I wouldn't have run away from my duty." She sighed.

I frowned. "But you are."

Riona smiled sadly. "It's not really my duty till I see the vision, _if _I see it." She hung her head.

"Do you want to see it?" I couldn't help but ask and by the looks of it, she was expecting it as she lifted her head.

"Yes, it would give my life new meaning. I could finally focus on something over than Zevran." Her voice broke on his name, and I was instantly on my feet walking the short steps to her. Kneeling down, I rested my arms over her shoulders and pulled her into a hug. Less than a year ago, we had found out that Zevran had betrayed us for his own selfish needs.

Although he helped save us again when his guilt took over, Riona hadn't hesitated to put a blade through his heart when we were at a safe distance from Antiva City. For hours she had cried over his corpse, much to Morrigan's annoyance, all the while she had glared daggers at Riona's back until Riona rose from her mourning place, walked directly in front of Morrigan and slammed her fist into her nose. I didn't know the entire story behind their hatred for each other but it was Letecia that had kept them at arms length.

"Do you think Morrigan has realised that we left?" I asked, shortly after we finished our rabbit.

"If she hasn't then Letecia has cast a spell on her. Yesterday we were supposed to have left for another city." A smile played on her lips, most probably thinking of the massive tantrum Morrigan was having right now.

"She's going to hate us when we get back."

"Don't be so sure about that, I bet she's plotting her revenge right now."

We settled in for the night, curled up with our backs to each other under the makeshift roof I had created. Riona was already asleep by the time her head hit the ground, but I stared into the darkness. It was still, but from the way it enveloped me, I felt scared, as scared as I had been a year earlier. I couldn't imagine a world without Alistair, without his lame jokes and romantic gestures and also his command. Never before had I met someone who one second could be so loving and gentle and the next be hard and lead his country. We had both come a long way from our own depressions and there was only one person who helped us both, and her back was against mine. Sleep slowly took me as I silently thanked her.

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A soft shake woke me from my slumber, my eyes fluttered open to see the beautiful face of my friend, her face hard and unreadable. She pulled me into a sitting position and I instantly regretted taking her hand as a sharp pain shoot through my neck. Wincing, I brought up my hand to untie the knots in my neck as my eyes slowly adjusted to the early morning light. Riona walked around me and picked her up her pack from the ground.

Riona turned and looked at me with solemn eyes. "We slept too long."

I stared at her at length, still not adjusted to the morning light. "How long?"

"A group of armed men on patrol just rode by from Redcliffe, I managed to flag one down, and he said the merchants have already opened shop, we slept through the night." She sounded almost disappointed.

I jumped to my feet, thankfully Riona had already taken down the makeshift roof or I would have hit my head. "Why didn't you wake me when you awoke?" I breathed.

She closed her eyes for a second before opening them again. "You haven't slept properly in days, and besides…" She shrugged before adding. "I would have missed the patrol men."

"Well we'd better not keep Alistair waiting, right?" I said, as I picked up my own pack. She was right that I hadn't slept well in days. In truth, I hadn't slept well in over seven years but she didn't need to know that, the circles on my eyes were plastered to my face forever now anyway.

We continued down past the road to Orzammar and through Kinloch Hold. We passed mainly farmlands and small temporary settlements, every few hours we stopped off at a merchant caravan to restock food and supplies. Riona took up the rear and our we had fewer conversations as we got closer to the coast, the skies continued to get darker as we proceeded onward. Not much farther along the coast was the historical battlefield of West Hill, where Alistair's father, King Maric unknowingly led an entire army into a trap. And only a day's journey on from there was Highever, we had made a silent decision to spend the night there.

Only once, as a girl, did my family and I journey to Highever, it was so my father could settle a deal with strangers, mother hadn't been happy with father for a long while after that and we never did find out what the deal had been. Bethany and Carver had only been four at the time and even now I could hear the screaming complaints of my mother as she stormed through the house. Bethany and Carver had slept through it all, but I had sat on the landing and listened to it all, my eyes soaked in tears. Part of me argued that mother had been too harsh in her treatment of fathers spontaneous schemes, that our lives were as good as could have been, however, now I realise our lives could have been different if we had just left Ferelden like mother had wanted. Now they were all dead, Father, Mother, Bethany and Carver, I was the last and now I might lose the one person who could give me a family again.

A small tear rolled down my cheek as the realisation dawned on me that soon, I could be alone once again, but then I thought of the woman riding behind me. Once we were two women who wary of one another; then we started to get to know one another and for the past year she has been the one person who I trusted with my life against a horrific evil that threatened to lavish the land. Now she may be the only person I'll have left. Slowly, I pulled the horse up to a stop, Riona pulled up beside me, concern etched on her face. "What's wrong?"

I couldn't answer her straight away, it felt stupid, but I knew I had to tell her. I smoothed my hand over the horse's neck; its short hair pricked my fingertips. "If Alistair dies, I want you to know something…" I said with much force. Riona looked like she might protest so I carried on. "_If _he dies, I want you to know that I will stay with you, if you want me to." I lifted my gaze to hers and I didn't expect to her to be smiling through tears, she shifted her horse closer and laid her hand over mine.

"_If_ he dies, then I would be honoured to have you to stay with me. But just so you know, we are going to save him. We haven't come all this way for him to die now. You will save him, just like you saved yourself."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Forgot to do this again! Disclaimer: I own none of the characters; they all belong to BioWare. **

Chapter 2

The rancid stench of horse and cow manure filled my nose as we passed through the farmlands outside of Highever. I had to hold my breath to keep from gagging, Riona on the other hand didn't seem to notice; she just pressed her heels into her horse to quicken the pace.

We neared the gates that led into the town and I began to feel uncomfortable under the gaze of three armed men, their eyes roamed over us, two pairs of eyes lingered on Riona as the other pair fixed on my own. I couldn't help but feel that this man looked familiar. Hhis deep brown eyes bored into mine and I frowned, who was he?. Before I could ask, Riona slid from her horse and pulled the bronze helmet from her head, I watched silently as all three of the men's eyes bulged from their heads as they each, in turn, recognised the woman in front of them.

"Lady Cousland." They all said simultaneously and dropped to their knees. Riona sighed and ordered them to stand. "M'lady, may we escort you to the main hall?"

"I know the way." She said and didn't give them time to protest as she motioned for me to follow her, the men eyed me warily before Riona linked her arm through mine and we stalked off.

They were stunned at the sight of the courtyard. It looked enchanting. Three large archways led off in different directions, vines wrapped around the columns of each. While they knew it was meticulously maintained, it still looked natural. Riona walked straight through the middle arch, pulling me along. Passed the archway were large wooden doors that were embedded with two white wings, a symbol that I had seen on Riona's journal. She didn't hesitate to open both doors; she placed both hands on either door and pushed with all her strength. To her delight, they opened easily and revealed a large hall with a tall ceiling. As I was surrounded by Riona's childhood home, I imagined her playing on the large green rug that stretched from the small steps where I stood, to the steps at the other end of the hall that led up to a large fireplace. Tall pillars towered over us, yet it seemed like they welcomed us home, and I would bet everything I had in my pockets that Riona had scribbled her name over if not one but all of them. Benches and chairs were placed in cosy groupings, but could be easily be rearranged to fit the needs of the occasion. Paintings were hung throughout the hall, but my eyes lingered on one in particular: a woman cuddling a young girl, I ran my eyes over the older woman, Riona's mother, they had the same striking eyes and full lips, the young girl looked the spitting image of her and since Riona had no sister's, it had to be her, it brought me to think of my own mother and how she used to hold me and rock me to sleep as a young girl. Tearing my eyes away from the picture, I fought back the tears. God, I missed her.

Riona soft voice called me from across the room and brought me back to the present. Beside her was an older man, with a large build and neatly cut hair, if I hadn't seen the picture of him that Riona kept in a small locket. I would never have guessed that he was her brother. I had always thought that Riona looked and acted noble but compared to this man she was just a posh commoner, he had an air about him that I hadn't seen in anyone but Alistair; this man could lead an army to victory. I walked quickly towards them, and expected to feel intimidated but the way Fergus held out his hand to me with a large smile., I finally saw his resemblance to Riona and relaxed completely. "Lady Hawke, it is a pleasure to finally meet you."

Taking his hand in mine, I smiled back at him. "The pleasure is mine, your Grace."

He scoffed. "Please, we need no formalities, call me Fergus." And with that he pulled me into an embrace. A slight chuckle sounded from behind me and I carefully pulled away from him.

Riona wrapped her arm around my shoulder and spoke to her brother. "So Fergus, are you willing to do some pretty girls a favour, we're headed to Denerim but we need some-"

Fergus held his hand up to her. "Riona, why are you asking? You should know this is much as your home as it is mine."

The silence that followed was uncomfortable as Riona continued to stare at her brother. I had no idea what she was thinking but by the way I could feel her chest rising against my arm told me she hadn't anticipated this. "Fergus… But-t what about last time?" She pulled away from me, so I silently stepped back.

Within seconds Fergus had her in his arms, stroking her long black her in a soothing way. He didn't say anything but something in the embrace made Riona start shaking slightly and I quickly realised that she was crying. She hadn't told me the details of what had happened between them when they were together but it had ended in him giving her the cold shoulder and ignoring several of her letters. When Fergus pulled away he placed a kiss on her forehead, it was the same way that I used to kiss Bethany and Carver if they had nightmares.

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I was walking through a field of deep, red roses; the sun was bright and hot against my skin whilst a light wind tickled, and blew strands of my red hair across my face. The ground was hard and rough as I walked towards the middle of the field towards a great light that called out to embrace me. I could feel them in there, everyone I have lost and loved. A small bird flew down and landed at my feet, kneeling down I held my hand out to it and it hopped on.

_Something is coming; something that cannot be stopped but only you can end, I am the spirit of hope and I place it inside you if you are willing._

The bird suddenly flew towards the middle of the field, there was a flash of light and in its place was a ghost like figure in the form of no one that I had ever seen before. I knew I was in the fade, that I was dreaming, so how did this feel so real? The figure walked towards me, it looked neither man nor woman but something beyond what lies in this world.

"What are you?" I asked.

_The Spirit of Hope. _

"Are you real?"

_Only as real as you can imagine. _

"Am I dreaming?"

_You decide. _

"What do you want from me?"

_Hope. _

"But you are the spirit of Hope."

_You could strengthen that hope. _

"You sound like a demon."

_That is your own decision to make. _

"But I'm not a mage."

_All life has magic there are only some who embrace it._

"What would happen if was willing?"

_I would conjoin with you, embrace you as you have embraced your destiny, you know what is coming and in your strength and desire to end it, I wish to give you hope._

"Would the same thing happen that happened with Justice and Anders?" I figured that this being was all knowing and I wasn't wrong.

_I am only hope and you have not embraced the magic within you, there is no telling what may happen but I am sure you will not share the same fate as the former. _

"Then I am willing."

Light burst from the ghostly form, hitting my chest but it didn't throw me back as I had suspected, it engulfed me, comforted me, relaxed me, everything that hope was for. Suddenly the sky darkened as all the light seemed to pour into me.

Whispers sounded in my ear. _Cameron. _I tried to find the source but something pulled me down. _Cameron. _I couldn't move as the last of the power flowed into me. _Cameron. _ The feeling was the complete opposite of the agony that Anders endured. _Cameron. _

_CAMERON!_

I sat up, startled from my sleep; I could feel the covers falling away from me but I didn't stop them as my head whirled in dizziness.

"Cameron, are you okay?" Someone asked, as I fell back against the pillow. I turned my head to see the face of Riona, her face etched with worry. My heart started to race as I realised what had just happened, I had no way of knowing if it had been just a dream or it had been in face real.

"No, I'm not." I said lazily, I couldn't open my eyes wide enough to look at her but through my lashes I could see her frown.

"You were speaking in your sleep. What were you 'willing' to do?"

I told her everything that had happened and she listened silently keeping her gaze on me as I described every detail to her. When I finished she sat quietly and sighed. "What would a spirit want with you?"

"It wants to give me hope."

Riona glared at me. "No, you idiot. You're not a mage, how can you even speak to spirits? There is some other power going on here and you should not have accepted it. But it's done now and we can only wait and see what comes of this." With that she jumped from the bed and left the room, slamming the door behind her. I guess I deserved this treatment, one word, hope, and I was falling at the spirits knees, hope was the only thing I needed now and I took it without even considering the circumstances in which the spirit appeared. .

It was dawn and I was awake. I hadn't been able to sleep once Riona had left my room; I stayed awake and argued with myself over and over about how to sort out the mess I may have caused. I could hear the maids walking in the halls outside and whispering to each other; through the thin doors made out Riona's name but not anything else. Desperate to find out what they were talking about, I kicked the quilt cover from my body and slid my legs over the edge, hurried to the door and placed my ear against the wood.

"That _was_ the Champion of Kirkwall, I promise you. I was there." One woman whined.

"I wonder how Lady Riona knows her." Another woman said.

"I don't know but it can't be under good circumstances. I've heard that the King is ill, Lady Riona knew him during the blight, do you think that's why they're here?"

"I've heard a rumour that Lady Hawke is the King's mistress." The woman sounded excited and it angered me to the bone to hear them gossiping about Alistair as if he were just idle gossip. It took all my willpower to not open the door and strangle their puny necks. Taking a deep breath, I told myself that those rumours were in fact true and I couldn't attack them for being honest, so I walked back to the bed, lay down and closed my eyes. In an hour we'd be leaving for Denerim and I needed as much rest as I could get.

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Within the space of three hours we were halfway to Amaranthine. Fergus was reluctant for us to leave and it took Riona, twenty minutes to convince him that he should stay in Highever. I knew his concern and had felt it many a time with my own siblings, especially when I had to leave Bethany and Mother at home whilst Carver and I went away to war at the beginning of the Blight.

Except for the wind whipping against my ears, everything was silent as we rode side by side. The sun was high in the sky signalling it was mid-day and all I could think about was getting to Alistair as quickly as possible.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It was completely silent as I walked through the castle corridors; I held my breath, unsure on what I was going to find, and what affect that it would have on me. I was also nervous. I hadn't seen him in nearly a year, so my heart pounded in my ears. Riona had told me to go in on my own and wouldn't listen to any of my protests. Secretly I was relieved; I didn't want her there, I wanted it to be only myself and Alistair. Yet, as I walked through these empty and silent corridors I could have used the comfort a comforting presence, even if it was just a hug.

When I got to his door, I took a deep breath. He had no idea I was coming and I was scared of his reaction, as well as mine. Someone was already in there with him, I didn't ask. I just extended my hand, knocked three times and waited. My heart was pounding so hard, I could feel it against my chest; I had to hold my hand over my heart to keep from hyperventilating.

"Enter!" Someone shouted…a woman's voice.

I pushed the door open slowly, fear spreading throughout my body, a lump formed in my throat. 'Don't be a wimp.' I growled to myself. Opening the door further, I caught site of a tall woman leaning over the side of a large double bed. From here, I could make out her short red hair and lean muscled body. The way she held herself looked controlled and graceful. She took one look at me with her vivid blue eyes and I knew that she'd recognized me.

Simultaneously, our eyes snapped to Alistair, who laid perfectly still on the large bed, he looked monstrous; I couldn't help but let out a strangled cry. Without thinking I ran to his bedside only to be stopped by the red haired woman. "Could you please introduce yourself?" Her eyes mirrored my sadness, but her tone voice was one of warning.

With a whisper, I said. "I'm Cameron."

She didn't budge and before I could push her aside, a weak voice called from the bed. "Let her past, Leliana."

Without a word, she stepped aside and I was instantly sitting on the bed and taking his hand in mine. I noticed the corrupted flesh It was half way up his arm and it trailed to his shoulder and down the right side of his chest. The tears came before I realised what was happening. Alistair looked past me to the women he called Leliana. "Leave us." I heard the door close shortly after. He turned to look at me, sadness in his eyes.

Stroking his hand with my thumb, I said. "I came as soon as I heard." He didn't reply, just stared with unreadable eyes. "I've missed you." I continued, now looking at our conjoined hands. He still didn't speak and the fear came back. "I wanted to come back, but I couldn't."

This seemed to peak his interest and he finally spoke. "Why not?"

"I've discovered something important, something that needed my full attention." He continued his silence and quite signal for me to carry on. "Something big is coming, something more terrifying than a blight." Alistair's eyes opened wide with horror as I carried on. "I'm going to have to tell you something that may anger you but it will give you more insight."

Suddenly, Alistair held up his hand to me and brought my hand to his chest. "I don't want to know the details, Cam. Just tell me what is coming and what you plan to do about it?"

"I'm not sure what it is, all this time I've been looking, but nothing. Sooner or later, it's going to happen…" My grip tightened on his frail hand at the feeling of fear coursing through my veins. Alistair brought his other hand round, gripping my wrist. "I can't think of any other way."

"Please, go on." He said, in a knowing tone.

"The Deep Roads, it's the only option left, down there I could find out what's happening and find you a cure." I stroked my little finger over a black spot on his arm and felt the tears boiling up.

A deep sigh escaped Alistair's lips as he pulled his hands away from me, for a second I thought he was going to ask me to leave but instead he reached back up, gripped my wrist and pulled me down to his chest. I laid my head over his heart and heard the slow thumping and felt heat radiating from his body. His weak fingers spread through my hair and stayed there. I never imagined that when I came back to him, he would be on his death bed. In his arms I realised that no matter what happened, or how our relationship deepened, our time together was limited. More than ever, I was determined to extend that time.And now I was determined to extend our time together.

"I've missed you so much." Alistair whispered against my hair.

"I should have never left you. It was a complete waste of time, time that I could have spent with you." I closed my eyes and breathed in with a gentle sigh. I lost myself in his embrace and his scent, something I so desperately wanted for so long. In those moments, it was like I had never left, like he was slowly dying and there was no war outside that I had to fight. It was just the two of us, our love, like it should have always been.

Until a knock on the door, made Alistair groan and bring us back to the reality. The door slowly opened and the red head girl popped her head through the door. "The mages our here, Alistair. Shall I send them in?" When her eyes crossed over me, I saw a hint of hatred in them. What was that about?

"Oh, fine." He said almost gently.

I sat up as soon as she left and turned to him with a frown. "Who is that woman?" I couldn't help but feel angry and jealous, clearly if these two were on the first name basis; they certainly were more than 'King and maid'.

"Oh that's Leliana; she helped us during the blight. She's only been here a week, she's excellent with potions and herbs. She's also been counselling me, you see. I haven't been myself for a long time." He looked straight into my eyes and I knew it was my entire fault. Everything was always my fault because I always put myself first.

"I'm so sorry."

Alistair shook his head. "Don't blame yourself. I understand why you needed to leave and why I couldn't go with you. I did this to myself, I could have been strong for both our sakes but I allowed myself to fall into a depression." The door opened at that second and I jumped up as two mages and the red head, Leliana, entered the room. Although, Alistair didn't acknowledge them as his eyes stayed on me. He caught my hand before I could leave. "Please stay for a few days before leaving." He almost begged.

"Of course." I planted a kiss on his forehead before leaving the room and Leliana's glares. I couldn't blame her for hating me; I hate myself for the mess I left him in.

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When I awoke the next morning, something felt wrong.

The light was as bright as it could have been in Ferelden as it shone through the thick curtains. I slowly registered shouting outside my door. I jumped up, quickly dressed, ran to the door and pulled it open. Outside the shouting was more distinct, it sounded like Alistair. My heart raced as I ran towards it.

"Alistair, Go back to bed." A woman shouted.

"I'm not an invalid. I can still walk." Alistair shouted back.

I skidded around the corner to see Alistair being dragged down the corridor by Leliana and him fighting against her grip. When Leliana finally noticed me, I saw more determination in her eyes and her face turned to stone. Alistair sailed past her as she pulled forcefully on his wrist and pushed him on, as if she hadn't seen me.

Straightening up, I walked down the corridor and called out. "Alistair!" A smile played on my lips as Leliana's head dropped and Alistair spun round with a smile on his face. She had no choice but to let him go as he rushed towards me.

"I was hoping you'd be awake. I was wondering if you wanted to have breakfast with me, I was on my way to come ask you. But Leliana found me first…"He leaned into me. "You see, I'm not really allowed out of bed." The smile reached his eyes as I slid my hand into his. A loud groan sounded behind us and I looked just in time to see Leliana storming back down the corridor, defeated.

_Take that bitch!_ I glared daggers at her back.

We walked in the opposite direction from Leliana, thankfully. All the while our hands linked and I couldn't have felt happier but, as we rounded the corner, Alistair fell against the wall, exhausted. I had to catch him before he fell to the floor. "Alistair?" I breathed.

"Please let's get out of here. Out of Denerim." He begged, reaching awkwardly for my hand.

"No, Alistair. You need to rest." I smoothed a bed of sweat from his forehead.

"Please, Cameron. I just want one whole day with you before you leave again." That struck me hard and I had to bit my lip to keep from crying.

"I'm coming back this time." I promised but Alistair glared at, it was one that I had never seen before.

"There is a good chance you won't make it out of the deep roads alive." He looked unsettled as he said this, almost scared. He stared into my eyes and I was pulled in by them and before I knew what was happening, I leaned in and softly kissed him. Alistair hadn't anticipated this as he hesitated before kissing me back. His arm slid around my waist and pulled me closer. His breath hitched in his throat and I felt his lips widen into a smile. "You're still just as intoxicating as ever."

I drew back slightly to see him smile. "I promise you that when I leave, I will fight to come back to you." He was pale with bags under his eyes; his hair was a little longer than the last time I had seen him, although on the side of his head he had a small bald patch and in its place was a black mark. His eyes were wild as his hand trailed over my skin leaving a prickly tingle in its place. His hands refused to allow me to move as his eyes overwhelmed me. Even after all this time, I felt so much love for him; probably a side effect from him occupying my every waking for the past year. Alistair leaned back into me and trailed his nose from my jaw down my neck and planted a kiss on my collarbone. I trembled.

"I love you." He finally whispered.

"I love you too, always have, always will."

ღ

_Hawke, _

_I heard about Alistair and I'm sorry. He is a good man and I hope he pulls through this. I know you're doing everything you can to save him and I hope you do. If you ever need me, I'll be there. _

_I miss you, friend. _

_Fenris. _

I smiled at the letter in my hands as I read it for the hundredth time. I had sent out a reply just yesterday via messenger. I hoped it would reach him before I entered the Deep Roads. In the letter, I had been completely candid and I knew in the end that Fenris would join me. Alistair wasn't too thrilled to learn that, but when I explained that it would give me a better chance of a safe return, he stopped complaining.

Alistair stirred in the bed beside my chair and I quickly slipped the letter into my pocket. As his eyes opened, he looked straight at me and smiled. "You know, you can sleep in here with me."

I sighed, even though I felt excited at the idea. "Alistair, you know I can't."

His smile vanished and he looked like a sulking child. "Who cares what Leliana says, she's not my mother."

I laughed at the idea. The past couple days, I had noticed the way Leliana looked at Alistair as she handed me the potions and herbs to rub into his skin. I had taken over at Alistair's request and I watched her face as it registered. She had it bad for him and she wasn't making it secret either. I knew she had been spending her newly free time with Riona down in the sparring ring and when she saw me, she ran in the other direction. "Leliana cares. She cares for you and you care for her."

Alistair frowned at me. "Yes, I do care for her. But I'd care to have you sleeping beside me more."

I bit the inside of my gum to supress a smile. "Alistair…" I warned.

He threw his head back against the pillow and groaned. "Not even a cuddle?"

A smile spread across my face and I stood up. "You my King are very naughty, not following orders and advice."

He lifted his head and devilish hint in his eyes made my heart flutter. "I order you to come cuddle with me." I giggled as I climbed in beside him and laid my head against his chest. We lay entangled in one another's embrace. I lifted my head to look into his eyes and he looked like he was glowing. My heart pounded at the happiness I seemed to bring him just by being here. Before I knew it, he leant down and pressed his lips against mine, his soft lips and intoxicating taste made me dizzy. When he broke the kiss, I groaned loudly which made him laugh. "Hah! Now, now, Lady Hawke, Leliana wouldn't be happy."

"Who cares what she thinks." I grinned down at him.

"Hmmm, you do have a point." His hand twisted into my hair and he kissed me long and hard. His other hand smoothing down my back and pulled at my top.

"Alistair…" I warned.

"It'll be okay."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hoping people are enjoying this. Would appreciate reviews saying if you do or don't. Any opinion matters. **

**Chapter 4**

"Serah Hawke, you're elven friend has arrived shall I bring him in?"

I nodded to the plump woman.

Unbelievably, I wasn't nervous. In my head I had gone through every possibility of seeing Fenris again. I didn't feel any romantic feelings towards Fenris anymore, nothing that could compare to how I felt for Alistair. But a part of me wondered if Fenris' eagerness to help was based on that fact that he once told me that he'd 'die for me'.

I paced the room, biting my nails uncontrollably. What was taking him so long? In a huff, I fell back against the chair near the fire place and rubbed my eyes. I hadn't been able to sleep last night, due to Alistair's tossing and turning. His nightmares were getting worse which meant time was running out.

A loud knock on the door made me jump out of the chair and clutch my chest. I saw white hair appear first and then the glowing face of Fenris, the lyrium looked more prominent than I remembered. But it was his smile that looked the most familiar and usually I was the only one on the end of that smile. "Hawke"

Without thinking, I crossed the room and threw my arms around his neck and the next thing I knew I was crying. Fenris pushed me away slowly and smoothed a tear from my cheek.

"I'm glad you're here."

His smile faded and he stepped away. "How is Alistair?"

I hung my head and fought back the sobs. "He's getting worse, he's being bathed at the moment, so I think we should leave."

A frown spread over Fenris' forehead. "Without saying goodbye?"

I bit my lip unsure. "It's for the best."

Fenris sighed and grabbed my arm harshly. "Don't be idiotic, Hawke. You may not survive this and you're on 'it's for the best'. No, you would never forgive yourself."

I tugged against his hold, glaring at him even though I knew what he was saying was right. "I can't say goodbye to him, last time I did, I didn't see him for nearly a year. If I leave quietly…"

"And what? That ensures you're safe return. That's bullshit and you know it."

And that was how I found myself waiting impatiently outside his room under the glaring eyes of Leliana. She towered over me, hands on her hips, denying me access to the man I loved. This didn't help my mood. "Move!" I growled, taking a step towards her.

Leliana mirrored me. "He's sleeping."

I tilted my head slightly. "And I'm supposed to believe you?"

"No, you're supposed to leave."

"I will as soon as I see Alistair."

Her eyes glowed in humoured interest. "Oh, you've actually came to say goodbye. I was under the impression you were planning to sneak away."

I grinned at her. "Looks like you were wrong."

"For the moment." Her voice was cold.

Anger boiled inside me and I had to fight the urge to lash out at her. "Look the sooner you let me see him the sooner I leave." Something changed in her expression and she stepped aside, I didn't hesitate to rush past her and throw open the door. As I suspected Alistair was sitting up in bed reading, a short beard was on his face making him look older than he was. He certainly looked old from the way he was hunched over and weak. Instantly, the anger drained away, replaced by sadness.

Alistair lifted his head and a small smile spread across his lips. "Cam, you here. I…I'm glad."

Sitting down beside him, I touched his knee over the quilt. Alistair raised his eyebrows at this motion. I chewed on the inside of my cheek and felt the tears coming. "I'm leaving soon." He didn't reply; blood had already filled my mouth from the chewing on my cheek.

After a while, he sighed. "So it's time then…oh, Maker!" He fell back against the pillow with his hand covering his eyes.

"This isn't going to be like last time Alistair; I'm doing this for you, not myself."

He lifted his hand slightly to look at me. "I know." Leaning forward I rested my hand on his chest, Alistair closed his eyes at my touch and brought his hand down to lay over mine, holding me there. Even though I knew I needed to leave, I gave him this moment and from somewhere deep inside me something glowed and a rush of what felt like hope filled me and when Alistair's eyes shot open, I knew he felt it too.

"I love you Alistair and I promise you I will find a way to save you." Pushing myself up from the bed, I leaned over him and kissed him gently on the lips. With that, I pulled my hand from his and walked from the room before he could have seen the tears.

ღ

Two days after leaving Denerim, we stumbled across an entrance to a cave, I would have walked straight past it if Riona hadn't paused and stared into the cave. I watched her carefully as she studied the darkness, her nose twitched as if she smelt something and then suddenly her face twisted in disgust and she recoiled back. "Darkspawn!" A scream ripped from her throat and she instantly had her long sword in her hands.

Both Fenris and I took a defensive stance on either side of Riona, and waited, after a few minutes I frowned. Nothing came, no sound was heard, but as I glanced sideways at Riona I saw the intense look on her face. "Nothing is coming." I hissed at her.

"Well, well, you're wrong there aren't you?" A familiar voice sang from the darkness, my eyes snapped back to see the angry face of the witch Morrigan and beside her an uncomfortable looking Letecia.

"Morrigan…" I gritted my teeth over the name; I had hoped she wouldn't find me so quickly.

She turned the full force of her glare on me. "Finally remembered me have you?"

Beside her, Letecia shifted on her feet. "Mother, I told you why they had to go."

Morrigan snapped her head round and grabbed Letecia by the arm. "I'm still not finished with you child." Never before had I seen such intense anger from someone, it was like the world had turned black and she was the certain of the darkness. Morrigan threw Letecia's arm from her hand and turned back to me, clearly she wasn't finished with me either. "You better have a good reason for sneaking out on me Hawke."

"Alistair needed me." I kept my voice hard and firm and caught her eyes with mine.

Morrigan barked a laugh. "Pah! You think that toad is in far more need of you than I am. Oh dear what has the world come to."

Fury spread threw me as I jabbed my finger in her direction. "Don't stand there and tell me what is what, witch. My top priority is Alistair despite this 'duty' you say I have."

Morrigan's lips thinned,thinned her expression one of surprise. Her eyes narrowed and for a moment I thought she'd give in, but I was wrong. Her tone was softer as she spoke, "No matter what you may think of me Hawke, my best interests are only for Letecia and she called upon you to protect her, that is your top priority now and you can't escape it."

A gust of wind lashed across my face, making me instantly cold. I bit my lip at the truth in her words. "All I wanted was time with him; all I wanted was for him to know that I love him and that I'm fighting every minute of my life to be with him. You can't be that cold hearted not to realise I'm not just fighting for her." I looked quickly to Letecia then back to Morrigan as I let my words sink in.

Morrigan sighed finally defeated. "At least tell me that you found something to help us." She walked the remaining steps out into the sunlight and looked between myself and Riona.

Riona spoke first. "In fact, we have." She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a piece of parchment, she unfolded it and read it out. "Travellers and merchants have been disappearing along the Amaranthine border." Her eyes peeked up as she continued. "Not too far from the labs the Architect held me hostage in."

"What does that mean? Is the Architect behind this?" Letecia asked a frown on her young face.

Riona shook her head. "Unlikely, I ended his life before I faced the the Broodmother, something else is behind this."

Fenris came into view and scowl on his face. "I heard some rumours blood mages have taken over a small area in Amaranthine, maybe that's the same area."

Riona smiled at Fenris. "Good ears you have."

"They aren't pointy just for my good looks." He chimed back at her.

"I noticed."

I could hear the smile in her voice and I had to take a second to realise they were flirting with each other. Seriously, this girl had a soft spot for elven men. Never before had I heard Fenris flirt with anyone, not even me, not in that way anyway. When we were together he was going through a rough time and was angry constantly, even between the sheets.

A smirk played on my lips and it stayed there even when Morrigan cleared her throat, silencing them both. "This is not the time for silly banter." She sounded like an angry mother, not so much an angry witch. She turned to me and her brow furrowed instantly. "Something funny?"

My smirk grew larger. "Only you're face, Morrigan," I said cockily.

Her eyes widened in shock, the corners of her mouth twitched into a sneer, a small hiss escaped her lips as she said, "You are more of a fool than that toad of a man you left back in Denerim. This is not the time for your wicked games, Hawke." Her reaction was just as I expected. I would never tell her, but she kept my mind on what needed to be done. With her around, I couldn't stray.

"Then what are we waiting for? We are at least a day's ride from Amaranthine, Riona can show us the way from there." Looking to Riona for conformation she nodded without meeting my gaze.

ღ

A bloom of orange peeked through the tree's as the sun set on the horizon. The fragrant scent of honeysuckle filled my nose; beside the muddy path were bushes of pink and white honeysuckle. It was the time of year for flowers to bloom and as we walked further into the Wending Wood we came across a beautiful wonderland. A sharp intake from behind me, reminded me I wasn't dreaming. We walked over a wooden bridge and the rapid sound of a river flowed under it, on the other side of the bridge were trees covered in white honeysuckle vines. A soft whistle rang through the tree's, and a bird flew passed us.

From the corner of my eye, I could see the bewildered face of Riona as she stared in wonder. Begrudgingly, I forced my eyes away from the beauty to look at her. "You said this place was a waste land." I wasn't sure whether it was a question or an accusation of sorts.

"It was." She breathed, the words almost sounded painful to her. I couldn't believe her, this was not the Wending Wood's she had told me about in her stories, nothing about her words even slightly compared to such beauty. From her description, it should never be this way again, the land had been severely destroyed during the blight; it had poisoned the land to the extent of no return. "It has to be…" She lifted her hand, stroking the air in front of her as if the scene in front of her was an illusion as she could smooth it away.

"If this is truly the place you mentioned then magic must be at work here, we are in the right place." Fenris spoke up, his tone sounded bored. He didn't have much love for simple things such as flowers, alcohol was his beauty.

Fenris speaking must have awakened all of us from our trance as we all ripped our gazes from the forest's beauty. We picked up the pace, Riona taking the lead as she tried desperately to remember the way forward, her tense shoulders told me she was having trouble.

After half hour of soft dirt under our feet we were still surrounded by the honeysuckle sweetness and I was starting to become frustrated. According to Riona we should have found our way easily as she had memorised the location in her head. She stopped abruptly, throwing down her gear. "For fuck sake!" She screamed making a small bird fly from its perch close by.

Morrigan stormed up to her, frustration also etched on her face. "Lost are we?" She hissed. Riona ignored her, running her hand through her raven black hair. She dropped to her knees, from behind her I couldn't see what she was doing. I looked to Letecia and I realised she hadn't spoken since we got here. Her head was turned to the left and I had to peer around Fenris to see what she was looking at. Far into the tree's there was one lone tree with no honeysuckle vines coating around it, the dark brown wood stood out perfectly through the white.

"What's that?" I called out to her. My voice tore into the silence and everyone, except Letecia, looked towards me. They all turned to see what I was looking at; we all peered at the anomaly through the trees. Suddenly, two figures walked out from behind the tree holding hands and I had to narrow my eyes to see that it was a man and a woman dressed in robes. As they walked towards us, the tree's behind them seemed to moult – honeysuckle petals fell like snowflakes, transforming the trees behind them into the grotesque image of Riona's words. Nothing about these two robed figures made me want to attack them but I was fully aware of the bow slung over my shoulder. From the corner of my eye, I saw Letecia step forward and when she did Morrigan was instantly at her side, stopping her by resting her hand on the girl's shoulder. Suspicion ran through me, did they know these people? As their faces came into view, I focused on the woman. She had dirty blonde hair pulled up into a loose bun at her shoulders; loose curls fell down past her breasts. She had a honey tint to her skin making her glow with beauty. Her plump lips opened and closed as if she were chanting. When I reached her eyes, I saw that she was looking at me too, confusion on her face.

"Do I know you?" The words escaped my lips before I realised what I was saying.

She walked towards me still confused. "What's your name?" She asked as if that would solve everything.

"Cameron…"

"Yes?"

"Hawke… What's your name?"

She hesitated before saying. "Erin…Erin Amell."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"What was it like being in the circle?" I asked.

I gazed at Erin from the corner of my eye; she was staring at the ground like she was nervous…of me. It wasn't like I wasn't nervous either; it's not like every day you meet a girl claiming to be a part of your family. Of course, I knew who she was as soon as she said her name, she was the spitting image of my aunt Reveka, who I'd only met once but had an exotic beauty about her that was clearly imprinted in Erin's features. Her hair curled up into a bun of dirty blonde, a few sun kissed strands framed her face complimenting her striking blue eyes underneath long, dark delicate eyelashes. I trailed my eyes down to her plump lips and she flicked a pink tongue across it before answering me. I listened as she told me about when she first met Jowan and how he always used to tease her and slowly they became friends and one day she finally declared to him that they were 'forever best friends' at this a breath taking smile spread across her face.

I can't say for certain on my feelings on finding a cousin who had ran away from the circle with her best friend; however I had to admit that I admired her courage. When I thought about it, I had taken Bethany from the circle by force and in a way it was pretty similar.

As I told her about my life and my family she suddenly stop twiddling her thumbs, stopping dead in her tracks she turned to face me. "Bethany was in the circle at Kirkwall?" She sounded shocked and slightly excited.

"Yes," I said, and Erin blew out a whistle as she contemplated this.

"Did she know a Templar named Cullen?" She asked.

I frowned at her question, from the look on her face, she seemed embarrassed and was almost about to speak again when I interrupted. "Yes, she did. More than knew him from what I could see, why?"

Awkwardness passed between us and I realised that what I said was something she hadn't wanted to hear, because I noticed her eyes fill with tears, I didn't know what to do as she wiped at a stray tear. "At least he was happy." She smiled weakly and somehow I thought that she hadn't meant for me to hear.

Abruptly, I was taken back to ten years ago, when I had been helping the Templars in search of blood mages and possessed Templars and the regular conversations I had with him and I gasped. "You're the Amell that he was talking about." I said pointedly at her almost in accusation.

Erin blushed; her hand came out too smooth a loose stray of hair from her tanned skin. "He remembered me." She whispered, mostly to herself.

Before I could find out anymore, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Looking back I caught the face of Letecia, her eyes glazed over. Fear overcame me as her lips started to move with a foreign voice. "You are nearly there." Slowly, her eyes went back to normal and she stared at me confused, she turned on her heel and headed back towards Morrigan.

I kept my head down as I turned back to Erin, looking at her robes. It was hard to look at her and label her as a mage. Fenris did straight away and the hurt look that crossed over her face made me feel bad for her. Fortunately for me, Riona had smacked him on the head for being prejudice. She was undeniably one of the sweetest people I had ever met, she went out her way to smile even though I could tell she was feeling uncomfortable and she easily blushed.

Erin stopped, giving me no choice but to look at her. "She isn't just a mage is she?" I shook my head and she bit her lip, she looked fearful.

I spoke before she could ask me anymore. "She's not harmful. Letecia is here to help us."

Erin frowned. "How do you know her?" I couldn't blame her for being suspicious, nor could I blame her being scared. It took me a long time to get used to Letecia and it was still strange to be finding out new things about her even after a year.

"I met her over year ago, not long before Bethany died, actually. A vivid vision led me to her and I needed their help to save my boyfriend, Alistair. The king…" I bit my lip, then added. "But they abandoned me at the last minute and that's when Bethany was killed. Then a year after that, I found myself in captivity trying to save Riona, Letecia and Morrigan came to our rescue. We've been travelling together ever since."

At that precise moment the scenery changed and Erin reached out to stop me. I followed her gaze to look at a large door in the cliff side. Behind us, Riona sucked in a breath and ran in front. "This is it." I froze in place as Riona walked closer, anxiety was building inside me, silently I willed for her to not go any closer.

Something felt wrong; could it really be this easy? Looking over at Erin, I saw she was also looking at me. She shrugged her shoulders as if in answer to my thoughts. Was I really that easy to read?

Slowly, I walked quietly up to Riona, laying a hand on her shoulder; she jumped in shock clearly not expecting me to be there. She looked over her shoulder at me with questioning eyes. "Something feels off about this place, are you sure this is it?"

Riona nodded once. "I spent a bit of time here."

Sealing my fate, I flicked the clip that sealed my bow in place and pulled it over my head. Turning back to look at the people who followed me here, I spoke with a clear, loud voice. "We don't know what we will find down here and we have no time to waste. Stick together and be ready for anything."

Looking to Letecia, I caught a glimpse of a smile before it was replaced with sadness. What's wrong with her? Her eyes met mine and just as quickly the smile was back. Frowning, I raised an eyebrow at her. I'd question her later.

Swivelling back to the door, I hitched my bow in my hand whilst beside me Riona hovered a hand close to her sword. We walked closer to the door that slowly opened at our approach. Magic was definitely at work here that was clear. We descended into the unknown however I knew this place held answers and those answers are what scared me the most.

**Sorry for such a long wait. I've had a serious case of writers block for this and I've just started working so I hardly have any personal time to even chill out. So here it is. Not as long as I hoped but there wasn't much more I could fit in without rambling. **


End file.
